Tip 43: To Meet or Not to Meet---Study the Question.
How many times have you accepted an invitation to a lunch meeting only to realize that you spent an hour and a half on something that could have been done in a 5-minute phone call or a 10-minute memo? The higher you go, the busier you get. And the meetings you attend must count. If you get a reputation for conducting useless meetings, the busiest and best people won’t show up.
If you’re asking to attend someone else’s typically unproductive meetings, defer with one of the following: “Is attendance mandatory?” “I’m unavailable. Is my attendance important enough to change my schedule?” “Could I send a representative?” “Would you mind if I offer my input in writing or by phone?” Others will generally surmise that you expect meeting time to be well spent.
Tip 44: Call a Meeting Only for the Right Reasons.
When you call a meeting, make it significant and be prepared. In a client situation, you may have been working on a deal for months that will either thrive or nosedive on a single meeting. The higher you go in your own organization, the more expectations others have for your abilities to conduct yourself in a meeting--either as a participant or leader. Take things seriously.
Skip the meeting if you have nothing special to discuss, if you don’t need others’ input, if you have already made up your mind about what you plan to do, or if getting others involved would only complicate your plan.
Do call a meeting if you need to present information to a lot of people quickly and you don’t want to write it, if you want input from others on your idea, if you want to gain “buy in” from the team, or if you want to motivate and energize the team about the idea.
So how about the wrong reasons? Meeting as a substitute for work. Rubber-stamping a decision. Complaining. Demonstrating power to make everybody show up. Because joy and misery love company, sorting out true motivations may require some soul-searching.
Tip 45: Set an Agenda.
Some people think that agendas lend too much structure to a meeting, that people can’t be spontaneous, or that the atmosphere will be too formal. Nonsense. That’s like saying if you plan for a vacation by packing the right clothes, arranging for transportation, and deciding on a destination that you can’t relax and be spontaneous along the way.
If you’re leading the meeting, set an agenda. Use active verbs, summarize in a sentence the issue at hand, and let the group know what you expect on each issue--“for discussion only,” “for their information only,” “to collect your data,” or “for decision.” Whether you stay right with the agenda or take a few minutes’ detour, having an agenda will give others a little peace of mind that the meeting is going somewhere.
Tip 46: Start with the Most Important Idea or Issue and Work Backward.
There’s a great temptation to begin with the routine matters--the FYI items. But the all-too-frequent problem is that when you save the most controversial and important item until the last, you run out of time. Maybe a Freudian move?
Tip 47: Own the Setting.
If you plan a clandestine affair, go for a dark bar with soft music. If you want an energized group, go for a well-lit poolside table. If you want an informal chitchat session, try somebody’s office. If you want an equal, on-target exchange, look for a conference table in neutral territory. If you want authority and a no-nonsense atmosphere, schedule the boardroom. If you want to play host-and-guest, provide coffee and snacks in a parlour. Whatever your choice and purpose, if you’re in charge, be comfortable with and “own” the surroundings.
Tip 48: Stay Out in Front if You Intend to Lead.
Nothing frustrates more meeting attendees than having a supposed leader who doesn’t lead. State your role at the beginning and what authority the group will have. Do you intend simply to facilitate a discussion? Will you let them set the process and agenda? Do you intend to tell them how you will discuss each idea and come to a decision--consensus or vote? Do you intend to have the final say or will the group have authority to make the final decision? Are you going to keep the discussion moving or abdicate that responsibility to others randomly? Are you going to be a silent observer on each idea or do you plan to put in your two cents worth? Are you strong enough to stop a feeding frenzy should the stronger people begin to attack the weaker person’s ideas? When the group starts spinning its wheels, be there with a comment such as: “Where do we go from here?” “What’s the solution?” “Which way do you want to do?” “Let’s back up and redefine the problem.”
Tip 49: Encourage Participation from Others---If You Want It.
Some meetings serve only to inform. If that’s your purpose, tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and be done with it. But if your intention is to generate ideas, get feedback, or come to a decision, you may need to take a more active role in encouraging participation.
Try these techniques: Ask for a show of hands on an issue. Toss out an open-ended question and see who takes the ball. Toss out an open-ended question and suggest that you go around the circle and let everyone give his or her views individually. Present your question or issue in writing, give all members a copy, and ask them to jot their responses quickly. Take up the responses and read them to the group for reactions. Invite nonparticipators by name: “Carl, we haven’t heard from you--what do you think?” Finally, you might assign two or three people a devil’s advocate role and ask them to toss out any objections that they can think of.
Participation takes effort, and some people are too preoccupied, uninterested, or tired to contribute without encouragement.
Tip 50: Don’t Set People Up to Refute You.
If you’ve already made a decision and intend simply to present the decision at a meeting, say so. If you still have doubt that your decision or planned course of action is the best, say so. But not like this: “I’ve decided to do X unless someone has a serious objection.” Few will have the chutzpah to speak up. If you want to get feedback whether or not you plan to change your mind, try something like this: “I’ve decided to do X. What do you think the fallout will be from our customers/employees/management?” or “I plan to proceed with Y; what positives and negatives do you think I might have to deal with?”
Tip 51: Discuss Taboo Issues Anonymously.
If you know certain issues are hot topics and politically dangerous to careers, you have to work hard at creating a safe environment. Consider doing an anonymous survey on the issues and simply “reporting the results” for discussion. Or, you can quote anonymous sources from the grapevine. Say: “Someone has expressed the fear that….How does you think we can handle that fear?” “Other people have stated that they don’t intend to…What would make people feel that way? What suggestions do you have for convincing them otherwise?”
Tip 52: Participate; Don’t Pout.
Even if you didn’t want to attend and “you’re there,” be there. Listen to what’s going on rather than fidget with your paperwork, glance at your watch, or roll your eyes. Your body language can speak volumes to those who think the meeting is important and do want your ideas.
Tip 53: Summarize Frequently.
Whether or not you see your official role as the summarizer or leader, if no one takes on that role, do so. To keep the discussion moving on target, somebody had to recap what’s been said and point out the next topic for discussion.
Tip 54: Call for a Process Check Occasionally.
At times, the group process will stall. You’ll be talking in circles, covering the same territory. You’ll hear tempers flare. You’ll feel that people are under personal attack. You’ll notice that you are deciding, undeciding, and redeciding the same issues. Be the one who calls attention to such breakdowns: “We don’t seem to be getting anywhere. Let’s see where we got off track. We had started to brainstorm the Y issue. Does somebody have a more effective suggestion for moving us along?”
Tip 55: Don’t Digress, Ramble, or Sidetrack.
Determine that you’ll not be part of the biggest meeting problem of all. Stay on target. If you can’t remember the issue, jot yourself a note as the group moves from agenda item to item and refer to it often. Not only is the agenda topic important, but also you should keep track of where you are in the process of dealing with each topic. Are you into the overview? The analysis? The idea-generation phase? Suggesting solutions? Testing agreement on the proposed solutions? Don’t be two or three steps behind everyone else.
Tip 56: Omit War Stories.
While they have an audience of admirers, some people fall to the temptation of telling war stories, sharing inside jokes, and recounting wonderful things they once did. Unless time is of no importance to the rest of the group, don’t.
Tip 57: If you Don’t Have Something to Say, Don’t Say It.
Participating doesn’t mean you should necessarily feel obligated to comment on every issue. If someone hands you the baton and you have nothing to contribute, pass it on: “I think everybody has already expressed my views.” “I don’t have an opinion one way or the other.” “I don’t know a thing about the subject and don’t want to confuse the issue.” “Thanks, I’ll pass.” People will love you.
Tip 58: Don’t Set a Pattern of Expressing the “Downside.”
Yes, you will disagree from time to time and make a valuable contribution by expressing that differing viewpoint. But don’t make it a pattern. Offer solutions and encouragement when the others get down, dumb and defeated.
Tip 59: Disagree Without Being Disagreeable.
Never let yourself become a victim of “groupthink,” a condition in which group harmony becomes more important than results. If the purpose of a meeting is to generate ideas and get input, by all means speak up when you disagree. Just don’t be disagreeable. The difference is attitude.
Tip 60: Don’t Invalidate Others’ Feelings.
Examples: “Jim, I don’t know why you’re so punchy about that.” “Jennifer, there’s no reason to get so defensive.” “It’ll be okay, Javier--really, it will.” To say or imply that people don’t have a right to their feelings makes them robots. People do not live by logic alone.
Tip 61: Use Another’s Question as Your Platform.
An excellent way to get a message across without having to hog the floors is to look at someone's question as a platform--an invitation to speak up. Have your prepared message ready and look for the opportunity to step in when someone raises the appropriate question. You’ll be accomplishing your goals on someone else’s time.
Tip 62: Be Flexible on the Issues.
We’re not talking about flip-flops like the politicians make--whatever the polls support today they “believe” tomorrow. Instead, be open to the facts and flexible in your feedback. The purpose of meetings--most staff meetings anyway--is to exchange ideas. If someone presents facts and sways your opinion, don’t hesitate to change your position. That’s not being wimpy; it’s democratic.
Tip 63: Listen to What’s Going On.
Consider listening to be more than the absence of talking. It takes careful attention. And listening increases in difficulty as the number grows from one person to a group of individuals all competing for airtime. Listen and interpret so that you’re not the one who’s always asking for a repeat of issues already discussed and clarified.
Tip 64: Remain Seated if You Want to Emphasize That You’re Tossing Out Ideas “Off the Cuff.”
Bringing up an idea while seated plays down your forethought and preparation. It conveys that the ideas are spontaneous and relevant to the issue at hand. Your position says that you’re on equal footing with the rest of the group and that you encourage give-and-take. As a result, you’ll probably get feedback, pros and cons, agreement and disagreement.
Tip 65: End With Impact: Don’t Just Fade Away.
If you’re presenting an idea, don’t limp away with a sputter. Don’t simply drop your eyes, tune out with body language, or let others grab the floor and run away with it. Bring the discussion to closure. Summarize your idea, the pros and cons mentioned, any decision made, and suggest the next follow-up step. Also take responsibility for the fate of the entire meeting. Do your part to make it successful. If the meeting is unproductive and disruptive, decide on the corrective action you’ll take next time to change the dynamics.
Tip 66: Don’t Sound Like a Broken Record.
Present your idea and support it. After a fair hearing, if the group nixes it, move on. Bring that discussion to an end and meet the next agenda item head on. Nothing irritates others more than having someone continue to bring up a pet proposal or peeve and whine, whine, whine.
Tip 67: Withhold Your Ideas Until Last if You Want to Encourage Others’ Input.
This strategy makes sense if you’re in a position of power to make the final decision. If you state your views first, your team may lapse into groupthink and let the matter pass without expressing concerns or opposing views. When that’s the case, toss out the issue, minus your opinion, and ask for others’ reactions first. The responses may be more honest.
In any case, don’t announce your decision or plan in such a way that people have to “refute” or “oppose” you to give you feedback. If you want feedback and forewarning of the difficulties, make it easy for people to speak their minds.
How many times have you accepted an invitation to a lunch meeting only to realize that you spent an hour and a half on something that could have been done in a 5-minute phone call or a 10-minute memo? The higher you go, the busier you get. And the meetings you attend must count. If you get a reputation for conducting useless meetings, the busiest and best people won’t show up.
If you’re asking to attend someone else’s typically unproductive meetings, defer with one of the following: “Is attendance mandatory?” “I’m unavailable. Is my attendance important enough to change my schedule?” “Could I send a representative?” “Would you mind if I offer my input in writing or by phone?” Others will generally surmise that you expect meeting time to be well spent.
Tip 44: Call a Meeting Only for the Right Reasons.
When you call a meeting, make it significant and be prepared. In a client situation, you may have been working on a deal for months that will either thrive or nosedive on a single meeting. The higher you go in your own organization, the more expectations others have for your abilities to conduct yourself in a meeting--either as a participant or leader. Take things seriously.
Skip the meeting if you have nothing special to discuss, if you don’t need others’ input, if you have already made up your mind about what you plan to do, or if getting others involved would only complicate your plan.
Do call a meeting if you need to present information to a lot of people quickly and you don’t want to write it, if you want input from others on your idea, if you want to gain “buy in” from the team, or if you want to motivate and energize the team about the idea.
So how about the wrong reasons? Meeting as a substitute for work. Rubber-stamping a decision. Complaining. Demonstrating power to make everybody show up. Because joy and misery love company, sorting out true motivations may require some soul-searching.
Tip 45: Set an Agenda.
Some people think that agendas lend too much structure to a meeting, that people can’t be spontaneous, or that the atmosphere will be too formal. Nonsense. That’s like saying if you plan for a vacation by packing the right clothes, arranging for transportation, and deciding on a destination that you can’t relax and be spontaneous along the way.
If you’re leading the meeting, set an agenda. Use active verbs, summarize in a sentence the issue at hand, and let the group know what you expect on each issue--“for discussion only,” “for their information only,” “to collect your data,” or “for decision.” Whether you stay right with the agenda or take a few minutes’ detour, having an agenda will give others a little peace of mind that the meeting is going somewhere.
Tip 46: Start with the Most Important Idea or Issue and Work Backward.
There’s a great temptation to begin with the routine matters--the FYI items. But the all-too-frequent problem is that when you save the most controversial and important item until the last, you run out of time. Maybe a Freudian move?
Tip 47: Own the Setting.
If you plan a clandestine affair, go for a dark bar with soft music. If you want an energized group, go for a well-lit poolside table. If you want an informal chitchat session, try somebody’s office. If you want an equal, on-target exchange, look for a conference table in neutral territory. If you want authority and a no-nonsense atmosphere, schedule the boardroom. If you want to play host-and-guest, provide coffee and snacks in a parlour. Whatever your choice and purpose, if you’re in charge, be comfortable with and “own” the surroundings.
Tip 48: Stay Out in Front if You Intend to Lead.
Nothing frustrates more meeting attendees than having a supposed leader who doesn’t lead. State your role at the beginning and what authority the group will have. Do you intend simply to facilitate a discussion? Will you let them set the process and agenda? Do you intend to tell them how you will discuss each idea and come to a decision--consensus or vote? Do you intend to have the final say or will the group have authority to make the final decision? Are you going to keep the discussion moving or abdicate that responsibility to others randomly? Are you going to be a silent observer on each idea or do you plan to put in your two cents worth? Are you strong enough to stop a feeding frenzy should the stronger people begin to attack the weaker person’s ideas? When the group starts spinning its wheels, be there with a comment such as: “Where do we go from here?” “What’s the solution?” “Which way do you want to do?” “Let’s back up and redefine the problem.”
Tip 49: Encourage Participation from Others---If You Want It.
Some meetings serve only to inform. If that’s your purpose, tell the audience what you’re going to tell them and be done with it. But if your intention is to generate ideas, get feedback, or come to a decision, you may need to take a more active role in encouraging participation.
Try these techniques: Ask for a show of hands on an issue. Toss out an open-ended question and see who takes the ball. Toss out an open-ended question and suggest that you go around the circle and let everyone give his or her views individually. Present your question or issue in writing, give all members a copy, and ask them to jot their responses quickly. Take up the responses and read them to the group for reactions. Invite nonparticipators by name: “Carl, we haven’t heard from you--what do you think?” Finally, you might assign two or three people a devil’s advocate role and ask them to toss out any objections that they can think of.
Participation takes effort, and some people are too preoccupied, uninterested, or tired to contribute without encouragement.
Tip 50: Don’t Set People Up to Refute You.
If you’ve already made a decision and intend simply to present the decision at a meeting, say so. If you still have doubt that your decision or planned course of action is the best, say so. But not like this: “I’ve decided to do X unless someone has a serious objection.” Few will have the chutzpah to speak up. If you want to get feedback whether or not you plan to change your mind, try something like this: “I’ve decided to do X. What do you think the fallout will be from our customers/employees/management?” or “I plan to proceed with Y; what positives and negatives do you think I might have to deal with?”
Tip 51: Discuss Taboo Issues Anonymously.
If you know certain issues are hot topics and politically dangerous to careers, you have to work hard at creating a safe environment. Consider doing an anonymous survey on the issues and simply “reporting the results” for discussion. Or, you can quote anonymous sources from the grapevine. Say: “Someone has expressed the fear that….How does you think we can handle that fear?” “Other people have stated that they don’t intend to…What would make people feel that way? What suggestions do you have for convincing them otherwise?”
Tip 52: Participate; Don’t Pout.
Even if you didn’t want to attend and “you’re there,” be there. Listen to what’s going on rather than fidget with your paperwork, glance at your watch, or roll your eyes. Your body language can speak volumes to those who think the meeting is important and do want your ideas.
Tip 53: Summarize Frequently.
Whether or not you see your official role as the summarizer or leader, if no one takes on that role, do so. To keep the discussion moving on target, somebody had to recap what’s been said and point out the next topic for discussion.
Tip 54: Call for a Process Check Occasionally.
At times, the group process will stall. You’ll be talking in circles, covering the same territory. You’ll hear tempers flare. You’ll feel that people are under personal attack. You’ll notice that you are deciding, undeciding, and redeciding the same issues. Be the one who calls attention to such breakdowns: “We don’t seem to be getting anywhere. Let’s see where we got off track. We had started to brainstorm the Y issue. Does somebody have a more effective suggestion for moving us along?”
Tip 55: Don’t Digress, Ramble, or Sidetrack.
Determine that you’ll not be part of the biggest meeting problem of all. Stay on target. If you can’t remember the issue, jot yourself a note as the group moves from agenda item to item and refer to it often. Not only is the agenda topic important, but also you should keep track of where you are in the process of dealing with each topic. Are you into the overview? The analysis? The idea-generation phase? Suggesting solutions? Testing agreement on the proposed solutions? Don’t be two or three steps behind everyone else.
Tip 56: Omit War Stories.
While they have an audience of admirers, some people fall to the temptation of telling war stories, sharing inside jokes, and recounting wonderful things they once did. Unless time is of no importance to the rest of the group, don’t.
Tip 57: If you Don’t Have Something to Say, Don’t Say It.
Participating doesn’t mean you should necessarily feel obligated to comment on every issue. If someone hands you the baton and you have nothing to contribute, pass it on: “I think everybody has already expressed my views.” “I don’t have an opinion one way or the other.” “I don’t know a thing about the subject and don’t want to confuse the issue.” “Thanks, I’ll pass.” People will love you.
Tip 58: Don’t Set a Pattern of Expressing the “Downside.”
Yes, you will disagree from time to time and make a valuable contribution by expressing that differing viewpoint. But don’t make it a pattern. Offer solutions and encouragement when the others get down, dumb and defeated.
Tip 59: Disagree Without Being Disagreeable.
Never let yourself become a victim of “groupthink,” a condition in which group harmony becomes more important than results. If the purpose of a meeting is to generate ideas and get input, by all means speak up when you disagree. Just don’t be disagreeable. The difference is attitude.
Tip 60: Don’t Invalidate Others’ Feelings.
Examples: “Jim, I don’t know why you’re so punchy about that.” “Jennifer, there’s no reason to get so defensive.” “It’ll be okay, Javier--really, it will.” To say or imply that people don’t have a right to their feelings makes them robots. People do not live by logic alone.
Tip 61: Use Another’s Question as Your Platform.
An excellent way to get a message across without having to hog the floors is to look at someone's question as a platform--an invitation to speak up. Have your prepared message ready and look for the opportunity to step in when someone raises the appropriate question. You’ll be accomplishing your goals on someone else’s time.
Tip 62: Be Flexible on the Issues.
We’re not talking about flip-flops like the politicians make--whatever the polls support today they “believe” tomorrow. Instead, be open to the facts and flexible in your feedback. The purpose of meetings--most staff meetings anyway--is to exchange ideas. If someone presents facts and sways your opinion, don’t hesitate to change your position. That’s not being wimpy; it’s democratic.
Tip 63: Listen to What’s Going On.
Consider listening to be more than the absence of talking. It takes careful attention. And listening increases in difficulty as the number grows from one person to a group of individuals all competing for airtime. Listen and interpret so that you’re not the one who’s always asking for a repeat of issues already discussed and clarified.
Tip 64: Remain Seated if You Want to Emphasize That You’re Tossing Out Ideas “Off the Cuff.”
Bringing up an idea while seated plays down your forethought and preparation. It conveys that the ideas are spontaneous and relevant to the issue at hand. Your position says that you’re on equal footing with the rest of the group and that you encourage give-and-take. As a result, you’ll probably get feedback, pros and cons, agreement and disagreement.
Tip 65: End With Impact: Don’t Just Fade Away.
If you’re presenting an idea, don’t limp away with a sputter. Don’t simply drop your eyes, tune out with body language, or let others grab the floor and run away with it. Bring the discussion to closure. Summarize your idea, the pros and cons mentioned, any decision made, and suggest the next follow-up step. Also take responsibility for the fate of the entire meeting. Do your part to make it successful. If the meeting is unproductive and disruptive, decide on the corrective action you’ll take next time to change the dynamics.
Tip 66: Don’t Sound Like a Broken Record.
Present your idea and support it. After a fair hearing, if the group nixes it, move on. Bring that discussion to an end and meet the next agenda item head on. Nothing irritates others more than having someone continue to bring up a pet proposal or peeve and whine, whine, whine.
Tip 67: Withhold Your Ideas Until Last if You Want to Encourage Others’ Input.
This strategy makes sense if you’re in a position of power to make the final decision. If you state your views first, your team may lapse into groupthink and let the matter pass without expressing concerns or opposing views. When that’s the case, toss out the issue, minus your opinion, and ask for others’ reactions first. The responses may be more honest.
In any case, don’t announce your decision or plan in such a way that people have to “refute” or “oppose” you to give you feedback. If you want feedback and forewarning of the difficulties, make it easy for people to speak their minds.
